Tips for Handling After-School Restraint Collapse
Now that school is back in full swing, we want to gently remind parents and caregivers about a very real and very common phenomenon: After-School Restraint Collapse.
What Is Restraint Collapse?
The term Restraint Collapse was coined in 2017 by psychotherapist and parenting educator Andrea Loewen Nair. In simple terms, it's what happens when kids (and honestly, even adults) have used up all their emotional, mental, and physical energy holding it together all day—and then completely unravel when they get home.
Cue the meltdowns, back talk, tears, or complete withdrawal. The people they love most often get the worst of it—not because they want to be unkind, but because home is their safe place. The stakes aren't as high as they were at school or work. You're not going to send them to the principal’s office, but you might end up worn out and wondering what just happened.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
How to Handle After-School Restraint Collapse
So how can you support your child (or yourself) during that after-school crash? Here are a few practical, doable tips that can make all the difference:
1. Have a snack and cold drink ready.
Like the old Snickers commercial says: You’re not you when you’re hungry. A quick snack and something refreshing to drink can help reset their mood—especially after a hot day in the Alabama sun. Bonus points if your car is already cooled off for those after-school pickups.
2. Don’t ask too many questions right away.
They’ve just walked in the door or hopped in the car—give them a moment. A simple “I’m glad to see you!” with a hug or high five can go a long way. Save the deep dive into their day for later, once they've had time to decompress.
3. Be mindful of overscheduling.
We know this one’s tough. Sports, music, tutoring—it all adds up fast. But try to build in space for your child to catch their breath before moving on to the next structured activity. Downtime is essential, especially after a full day of “being on.”
It’s OK to Start With the Basics
When in doubt, go back to the basics—just like when they were little. Are they hungry? Tired? Need a bathroom break? A change of scenery or clothes? Sometimes the smallest comforts make the biggest difference.
Remember, this transition back to school is an adjustment for everyone. Start small, give grace (to yourself and your child), and don’t hesitate to hit reset when you need to.
You’ve got this—and if you need extra support, we’re here for you.
About Grace Therapy Collective
Located in Vestavia Hills, Alabama, Grace Therapy Collective provides compassionate mental health and speech therapy services to children, teens, and adults. Our team is dedicated to fostering resilience and growth in every stage of life through a warm, nonjudgmental environment.
Ready to take the next step? Visit our contact page to learn more or schedule an appointment today!
